A bit about me

Hi everyone, 

This may be narcissistic, but I thought I might give you a little info about me, and what this blog is about. 

I'm a thirty-something married father of one, living on the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia. I'm an average Aussie bloke: average height, build, looks, skills, and intelligence. I'm university educated and my most recent position was a department head at a university. However, I've recently learned that life can change very quickly. Thanks to the global financial crisis and the subsequent downturn in the global economy I recently found myself made redundant from my job and am now a member of a growing segment of our community: the stay-at-home Dads. 

The most significant issue stay-at-home Dads have to deal with is social standards and expectations, which influence the expectations we have of ourselves. We have grown up indoctrinated with concepts of manhood, and what it means to be a man. The stereotypes are extremely pervasive in our communities and have been drummed into us all from an early age: how many of you can remember your parents telling you 'boys don't cry'? As a result, finding ourselves in the position of becoming a stay-at-home dad can be a very confronting situation leading us to question and judge ourselves as 'men' and in some instances can lead to feelings of being a 'failure as a man'. The most common question I've heard, and indeed asked myself at times, is 'What kind of a man can't provide for his family?'

When faced with that question, I believe it's important to remind ourselves what exactly it is that families need. Naturally, the first thing that comes to mind is money: money is how we can get some of the other things that we need, and we all know kids aren't cheap! Unfortunately this is what most men think of as 'providing' when they think about providing for their family. However, families need far more than this. They need a home, they need healthy meals, they need clean clothes, they need healthy and happy parents, and most of all, they need love. The stereotypes that I've been discussing above would have us believe that it is the man's job to provide the money: the Dad goes to work to make money and the Mum stays at home. To this, I'd like to pose the question: 'Does it matter who mows the lawn, washes the dishes, or polishes the car? Does it make a difference to the grass, the plates, or the car? Then why should it matter who makes the money?' A family has many needs, and a man who is providing any of these is doing his duty as a man. 

This leads us to discussing the point of this blog and what you can expect to read here. My intention is to write about my experiences, successes and failures in my role as a stay-at-home Dad. I want to discuss issues facing stay at home Dads and ideas for overcoming them. I will spare you a daily update of how long it took me to do the dishes, or my favourite brand of window cleaner though if anybody really wants to know, just ask!

I'm looking forward to sharing with you!

Ben