Mary Mallon was born in Ireland in 1869 and died in the United States in 1938. Although presenting no symptoms herself, she was personally responsible for infecting fifty-one people with typhoid, three of whom died. It is from this bearer of bacteria that modern society has the term 'Typhoid Mary'. What few people realise is that without the miracle of modern medicine, Mary spent a large part of life held in enforced quarantine: 1907 - 1910, and 1915 - 1938, totalling twenty-six of her sixty-nine years.
It was this cycle of devastating disease and quarantine that befell our peaceful household in late January.
It started, of course, with me. If anybody could be blamed for bringing such pestilence into our abode it would have to be the Suburban Aussie Dad. The issue of where I caught it is quite contentious. Being a stay-at-home Dad, my only point of contact with the outside world was my martial arts classes. The only exception to this is the supermarket, but I don't come into contact with anybody there, but there is, naturally, lots of contact in a martial arts class. I can't even blame my son's grotty little friends from his playgroups: they were all postponed over the school holiday period! So, given that my only actual physical contact with anybody outside the four walls of my house is at my martial arts class, I think it's safe to assume that was ground zero. However, given the reference to Typhoid Mary above, I can't be sure as no one I trained with was showing any symptoms of being ill at all. Indeed, anybody that trains at our gym would be responsible and respectful enough not to come to training if they were showing symptoms of illness.
On the Monday night I went to training and by the time I went to bed I had a little tickle in the back of my throat. By Tuesday morning I had a frog in my throat, which by after training on Tuesday night had turned into a mild cough. When I awoke, or should I say, became one of the undead, on Wednesday morning, I looked that guy who got bit by a monkey in any one of a thousand deadly disease disaster films. I had a racking cough that doubled me over in pain, sore throat, headache, runny but still clogged nose, stuffed up sinuses, lost voice, and weepy eyes. My mother-in-law, who was house-sitting the neighbours house at the time, took one look at me and ran, leaving a Looney Tunes style cut-out in my freshly sanded and stained front door. My wife prepared herself for work, giving me a three metre wide berth at all times. My son, of course, was all over me. All the time.
Hell hath no fury like a toddler with a cough, sore throat, headache, runny nose, stuffed sinuses, weepy eyes, and new teeth coming in.
Hell hath no fury like a wife, who has been caring for a sick husband who has been caring for a sick baby, with a cough, sore throat, headache, runny nose, stuffed sinuses, weepy eyes.
Hell gets it's ass kicked by an entire household that has a cough, sore throat, headache, runny nose, stuffed sinuses, and weepy eyes.
I was so sick that I had to spend four night sleeping on the couch. Then, my wife got so sick that I had to spend another two nights sleeping on the couch.
However, the real victim of this pandemic was Australia Day. We had met some new friends at the local dog park and had invited them over to the house for the first time for Australia Day, to try some food cooked on my new smoker. I'd been to the butcher and bought some beautiful lamb sausages with mint and rosemary, a leg of pork, and a leg of lamb. However, when the morning of Australia Day rolled around, despite my best efforts, it was all I could do to get out of bed in the morning. Naturally, we had to commit a huge social faux pas and cancel our plans to spend the day entertaining new friends. Unfortunately, the meat had already been frozen and defrosted so I had no choice. I had to go outside and cook up a storm despite feeling like something the cat coughed up.
This was compounded by the fact that we suffered a torrential downpour, the final result of which was flooding across most of Queensland, and the Tourism Queensland 'postponing' Australia Day to a month later. (Unfortunately it was still raining even then!) Below is a picture of me in my raincoat heading outside to cook up our food.
The food still turned out well though, and we had plenty stored in the freezer for the weeks to come.
Even though Australia Day was ruined because of my ill health, I still managed to provide a meal for my family, even if it was water logged!
Take care,
SuburbanAussieDad
